Nope nope nope. I’m not meeting his dad, family are off limits, it’s much too early in the relationship to ask such things.
I got the, “But my dad is really great, you’ll love him.”
He got the, “This isn’t fair, you haven’t met my family yet, why do I have to meet yours?”
Yes, I am dramatic and immature and make a weak argument. Why he’s still with me, we’ll never know.
Long story short, he won and my pettiness was shown up.
He proudly introduced me to his dad, and I pathetically laughed at nothing funny and otherwise sat mute. Of the four times I spoke to him, two times I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. The first incident was worse than the second.
After boyfriend left to make us tea, it was just me and boyfriend’s dad. Boyfriend’s brother walked past and I said, “Hey, come sit with us.” His reply was, “I’m just going to put a shirt on.” I responded with, “No! You look great without a shirt, come sit.” All the while, boyfriend’s dad was watching.
The second, albeit not as bad, was finally building up the courage to make conversation with the dad by asking him if he enjoys living in the country that he has been living in for the last ten years. When he said yes, I replied with the most surprised, “Really?” He’s ever heard.
Now you’ll understand why I really didn’t want to meet the parents; not because I was worried that they wouldn’t be nice, but because I knew that I would be a complete disaster.
Good luck to his mom who gets to meet me next week.
I’m going to try something a little different with this post; one of my very best friends is moving overseas next week, and in trying to write her a farewell card, a little story began that I decided to share on my blog for the very few who read it.
there once was a little fairy who lived with all her beautiful fairy friends in a Faerie home.
Her magic came from her long silver hair that sprinkled golden glitter in the echoes of her footsteps. People would run up to catch a small handful before it reached the ground and lost its power.
Little Fairy loved her friends, so they always surrounded her, listening to her stories and making her laugh. Little Fairy loved animals, so owls would sit in her trees outside her window and ‘who’ at her, delighting her. Little Fairy loved tea, so her teacup was always full. Little Fairy loved family, so Fairy King made sure that her Tiny Apprentice Fairy happened to be her nephew.
Little Fairy would drink tea with her friends, whole blinking up at her owls. Her favourite days ended when she got to sit next to Tiny Apprentice Fairy and sing him her most treasured lullabies.
The only thing that Little Fairy loved but didn’t have was her Beautiful Big Adventure.
She loved her favourite days, and all the days in between that only held one or two of her favourite thing, but her heart would beat faster when she thought about different trees that homed new birds, people who were waiting to meet her, and colourful cups of freshly brewed tea that she hadn’t tasted yet.Her golden glitter didn’t fall in steady sprinkles anymore, but rather in random and small pinches. She knew that it was time to chase Beautiful Big Adventure.
Of course, Little Fairy had to end of her time in her Faerie Home well, and so she gave her magnificent owls one last blink. She drank one more delicious cup of tea from her cupcake teacup and she squeezed her fairy friends tightly, giving them one last sprinkle of golden glitter to hold onto. Although it broke her heart a little, she sang all her most treasured lullabies to Tiny Apprentice Fairy, warmly holding his hand to make sure that the melodies clung to his memories.
With her little fairy rucksack and her best fairy silver sneakers, she fluttered her fairy wings and moved closer towards her Beautiful Big Adventure.
Fairy King made sure that the eagles moved out of her way and blocked her ears when big planes bumped past in their rush to reach their destinations; and the closer that she got to her Beautiful Big Adventure, the happier her smile became and the more the golden glitter sprinkled from her hair.
Last week, South Africa heard the cry of her women who have had enough. Rape story after murder story plastered the news and angry ladies marched the streets, proclaiming that they would not stand for cat calls, male expectations on them, rude or stereotypical comments made about females.
The injustices done to women because they are women hit a peak when a beautiful young lady was raped and murdered in a post office. The outcry was immediate and the women finally screamed, “This isn’t our fault that these incidences keep happening!”
There were news reports, poster boards, new hashtag movements and social media posts colouring South Africa in deep shades of angry red.
I love how our generation know how to speak up. Older generations criticize us for being idealistic and individualistic, but our parents always told us to follow our dreams and always be on the look out for ‘stranger danger.’ Well, this generation are now fighting for their dreams; dreams to be able to safely mail a letter. This generation are now screaming because they know that both strangers and friends are danger, and they are willing to scream until they are heard.
However, in the midst of blasting canons full of sore words and angry tones, I sat in the back row in church on Sunday and listened to one girl’s voice. It was strong and rich and said things that unraveled things in the hearts of her listeners. Waterfalls of words splashed the cheeks of the people listening with their ears, their eyes and their hearts.
She spoke a poem that she had written to herself on her twenty- first birthday, ‘Daughter.’ She described her beauty, her curly hair, and rich dark skin, her worth and her place in a white city. She asked white women to raise their daughters to see all the different shades of skin colour and to love the rainbow that they create. She promised to raise her daughter just the same.
Her audience could not sit down at the end of the poem.
Through the chaos and the desperate screams of a desperate country, the #menaretrash and #aminext movements fell away. Men looked at her in awe and wonder over her incredible gift (not at what she was wearing or what she owed them), and I think many women answered her request with a solid ‘yes.’
Whenever I speak about it, my words ironically gush in nonsensical rapids of excitement over just how beautiful, powerful and defining it was.
Yesterday I came home to the bathroom screaming Taylor Swift’s new lyrics, my housemate frantically applying mascara, and then more mascara, and then a little more after that. “Does this shirt look good, or should I change it?” she asks me and I start telling her about my day, the funny stories the kiddies wrote for me with their actions, and my friend and I sitting on a roof sipping hot coffee.
If she is distracted she won’t stress so much about the blind date that I set up for her. For a moment she is listening to my rambles, but eventually I have to bust her tranquil forgetfulness with reality. It’s time to leave, and I would rather she isn’t too late for my friend who would so patiently wait for her should she be.
The delay tactics she plays are good, but another housemate helps me in ushering her to her car. Now it’s just fingers crossed that she will drive to the meeting place, walk into the meeting place and talk in friendly tones to the meeting face.
I got a message from her telling me that she had just parked, and then it was her turn to fly, “fly little bird!” Can I tell you the helplessness you feel being on the wrong side of the blind date. I mean, my boyfriend wouldn’t appreciate me being set up on one of those, so I guess it’s a good thing I was on the wrong side.
I sat on the couch, waiting to hear the gate bumping open. I was joined for a bit by my housemate who eventually lost interest and went to get ready for bed. My boyfriend also kept me company for a while, bringing me tea and playing ‘Friends’ in the background of my anxious wait.
Minutes turned to hours turned to days…
Kidding. She finally walked through the door, “be cool, Jordy. Be cool.” I held my tongue, but couldn’t hold my giant smile that scared her as she came in. “All I’m going to say is that you chose well,” she said as she ran upstairs to pajama herself.
You guys, I crushed it. Maybe they won’t go out again, maybe there will be one or two more coffee dates, maybe something more, but there was a date with lots of talking, laughing and stories because two people were brave enough to trust their friend.
I didn’t even go on the date but in the end I think I felt the happiest out of everyone involved.
Back in reality, so distant from hyena calls at night, glorious purple beach sunsets and slow- morning sleep- ins. Life is accelerating into needing a weekend after the weekend; “should I really eat another piece of cake?”; early nights for early mornings.
The lazy holiday feels have evaporated and I find myself arguing with my student, “I know your mom said you can eat when the food is ready, but I said you can eat when your work is complete.” Unfortunately my anger levels never reach above a 2 out of 10, and I can’t stop laughing at her death stare that she so kindly and perfectly shares with me.
We do have a lovely relationship with lots of giggles and disses and hard school work, and after our little tiff she walks me to my car and asks me to stay a little longer.
Even in the busy mundane of working days, there are moments of true hilarity where water snorts out your nose, true understanding where you watch the animated light bulb atop their head ‘ting’ on, true friendship where a secret is shared with you that you promise to keep safe.
I’m so corny, it’s face flushing. I always get sentimental when the holiday comes to an end.